A unit owner, apparently unhappy with a conversation with his condominium’s auditor at an annual general meeting, pulls down his pants. This was but one real-life occurrence that came up during the aptly titled session “I Can’t Believe We’re Having This Discussion” at the recent Condominium Conference in Toronto.

None of the panelists for the session, which focused on enforcing condo rules without escalating conflict, was a lawyer. That was intentional, said moderator Chris Antipas of 360 Community Management. He pointed out that by the time a lawyer is called in, preventing escalation is often too late.

“Conflict is an inevitable part of human relationships,” he said. “Depending on how it’s approached and managed, conflict can either be constructive or destructive.”

For a property manager to successfully enforce rules without furthering condominium disputes, the panelists identified a number of key considerations: picking up the phone before writing a letter, understanding the issue and maintaining neutrality, and balancing push and pull strategies for influencing behaviour.

Pick up the phone

Katherine Gow, regional property manager at Brookfield Residential Services, recommended beginning by addressing most enforcement issues with a phone call, rather than immediately writing a letter. For starters, the property manager wants to ensure that he or she is talking to the correct person.

Once the property manager establishes that he or she is talking to the right person, Gow said, it is important to make a connection. By having a conversation, a property manager can gain an understanding of why a resident is engaging in a particular behaviour. Plus, even carefully composed letters can put a person on the defensive and lead to a quick escalation of conflict, she said.

By the time a resident complains about a neighbour’s behaviour, they have likely reached their wit’s end, and may think it is impossible that their neighbour not be aware of it, Gow said. But that may not be the case.

“Oftentimes, folks don’t even understand that they’re creating an issue or a problem for somebody else,” she explained.

The property manager needs to establish what change must occur in order for enforcement to be deemed successful, Gow said. And it is still important to document this initial conversation, in case it doesn’t resolve the issue. Where progress has occurred, the property manager should follow up with a thank you letter.

Understand the condominium dispute at hand

Jennifer Bell of Pacet Dispute Resolution said that it is important to understand the issue at hand. Often, she has found, conflict can be resolved simply by properly understanding each side of the issue. This involves the property manager listening to the issue and repeating it back to the parties to ensure that his or her understanding is correct. The property manager should ask parties to do the same for him or her when the manager conveys information to them.

During this process, Bell said, the property manager should evaluate how he or she is feeling. Does the property manager find himself or herself empathizing with one party over another? By identifying his or her biases, a property manager can actively work to maintain neutrality during the dispute resolution process, she said.

Once all parties have listened carefully to one another and a common understanding is achieved, the dispute is often resolved, Bell said. If this is not the case, she said that property managers should identify what common ground may exist, what outstanding issues still need to be addressed and what the next steps are. All of this should be documented in not only a follow-up letter, but also a phone call.

“Try to keep the dialogue as personal as you possibly can, so that everybody feels valued and part of a solution-building process as opposed to one half of a problem,” Bell said.

Influencing behaviour: push versus pull

Mediator Colm Brannigan set out three things for a property manager to bear in mind:

1. Do no harm: don’t escalate disputes through letters, as once something is in writing, it is hard to take back.

2. Remember who the audience is: know whether it’s someone who has committed a minor rule infraction, or someone who is out of control with regards to compliance.

3. Consider who could potentially see any communications: know that besides the recipient, other unit owners, board members, legal counsel for both sides of a dispute, mediator or judge may see it.

To get residents to follow condominium rules, Brannigan said, a property manager needs to find a way of influencing behaviour, which may involve a combination of push (forcing a person to change) and pull (persuading a person to change).

Giving people a push (i.e. “Do this or face a fine,”) can get fast results, he acknowledged, but it tends to put people in a confrontational position, which may be costly if a person puts up a fight.

Using pull persuasion (i.e. “You may not be aware, but we have these rules in place for the betterment of the community,”) tends to take longer to achieve rule compliance, but it can also be better for the community in the long run.

“We require credibility to do that: the person has to actually believe you’re interested in solving the problem,” Brannigan said. “(And) it requires trust, which is something that we build up.”

Ultimately, the decision to pursue push or pull strategies to influence behaviour will depend on the circumstances, he said. Often, using pull with the minimum amount of push can effect compliance.

Michelle Ervin is the editor of CondoBusiness.